Final friendly finishes frustratingly for flops

Who put the effs in the effing title? Why, our dismal shower of Orient anti-heroes of course!

In the arse end of the arse end of Essex, Orient produced a disjointed, passionless performance; a woeful shadow of the side that so successfully annihilated Newcastle United a week ago. Today's was a game that started dully, proceeded to range between dire and abysmal and ended extcretably. Geraint Williams will have garnered little in the way of positive information about his side.

With only Ben Chorley and the benched JJ Melligan missing from the probable first XI a week hence at Bristol Rovers, the 400 or so Orient fans in attendance might have been forgiven for thinking that they were about to witness a full-throttle performance from the an Os side desperate to get up to full match speed. Instead it was a scrappy performance with the occasional glimpse of quality football. Indeed, when Orient bothered to get the ball onto the deck, they looked a class outfit. Jason Demetriou in particular was lively on the left, whilst Harry Baker gave Scott Griffiths a few problems with his pace.

It was the young Orient winger who had the first effort of the game, firing wide after collecting Charlie Daniels' free kick. Sean Thornton was the next to come close, as his dipping free kick narrowly cleared veteran keeper Tony Roberts' bar.

Dagenham for their part were perfectly executing John Still's patented brand of, er, 'direct' football. Strikers Paul Benson and John Nurse buzzed around the Os back four, with the latter causing a number of problems with his movement and quick feet. He blasted Dagenham's best chance of the half over the bar from 12 yards, and was involved in another move which saw Soloman Taiwo curl an effort wide of Jamie Jones' left hand post.

The second half began with Orient on the front foot; a well-worked free kick move resulting in striker McGleish blasting the ball straight at Roberts from an angle. However the disjointed play soon returned, and defensive sloppiness allowed Benson through on goal. Jones seemed to think that the forward's sidefooted effort was going wide, but the shot ricocheted off the inside of the far post, before rolling agonisingly on the line and into the relieved keeper's arms.

Fewer changes were made than previous friendlies, though it looked like one may be enforced when Taiwo went in two-footed on Charlie Daniels. The midfielder was only booked for what surely would have been a red card in a competitive match, and the ex-Tottenham sort-of left back was able to limp away relatively unscathed.

One player who did come on was Loick Pires, who enjoyed a generally promising 20 minutes on the pitch. The young winger sprayed an excellent cross field ball to fellow sub JJ Melligan, but the Irishman chose to take the shot on first time, and blasted horribly wide from 20 yards when better options were available to him.

Minutes before the end, Daggers' centre back Mark Arber should have opened the scoring with a free header at the back post. The ex-Barnet stalwart was furious with himself and proceeded to beat the ground in frustration. Never mind, Mark, at least it wasn't missing a chance to put your side into the playoffs. Like last season.

Still, having mislaid a 6'4' centre half from the previous corner, it came as no suprise when Orient failed to mark a 5'6' full back at the next. Scott Griffiths (for it was he) rose majestically to a height of at least two inches off the floor to nod home the winner at the far post.

The Dagenham fans broke into the kind of celebration not seen in that corner of Essex since Prince's began to put ring-pulls on their tins of corned beef. Only Luke Ashworth of the Orient players looked even remotely bothered by the concession. The Orient fans trudged away into the rain, cogitating an abysmal performance that personified so many of last season's failings, consoling themselves that at least it was only pre-season....right?

John Nurse - A real thorn in Orient's side during the first half.
Confident handling offset by erratic kicking and that one horror moment of misjudgment. Defended solidly, but barely crossed the halfway line. Got roasted on the outside more than once, but involved in most of Orient's decent attacking spells. Solid performance; much more of what we expect from the in-demand Tam. Composed on the deck and some vital headed interceptions. A generally impressive performance from the young man. Aerially dominant, and one superb Rio Ferdinand-esque challenge. Vulnerability against pace occasionally exposed. Kept things ticking over without ever dictating the game. In-and-out performance from the youngster. Seems to have caught Melliganitis and developed a reluctance to take his full back on. Very quiet game in what has been an impressive pre-season. Little of note at either end. Seemed more interested in complaining to the ref than winning headers. Man up, Slowie. Still not match fit. Ran himself into the ground as per ususal, but utterly devoid of service. Lively performance. Good ball-carrying and home-fan-irritating. Disappeared once moved into the centre. One absolutely disgraceful dive in an attempt to win a penalty whilst actually clean through on goal. FFS. Bottled his pre-requisite two challenges in half the usual time. Ok, so our very own tame giraffe fell over a couple of times, but he was positive, good in the air, and played a couple of excellent passes. Improving all the time. Both came on and did the square root of feck all. Actually, Patulea had a right go at Melligan for not passing to him. Bonus point for the deserved abuse, taken away immediately for the hypocrisy. No rating, but it was nice to see players get longer run outs. Two areas to sort out: left back and right midfield. Hop to it, George! (Handy hint: sign a left back then we can have Deme and Daniels on the wings. Cheapo and effective). Can you believe he was being talked about for the Orient job a while back? HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFAHHHHH! Still, there's enough about his side to suggest that they won't be in any trouble at all next season. A good run with injuries and suspensions will see them in the top ten of that poxy league. I won't pretend to have made that nickname up for myself, but it somehow fits. He's a poor little Tottenham street urchin, slumming it in the poorhouse at Orient when suddenly Williams Wonka shows up and offers him the sweet, sweet candy of... left back. Again. It looks increasingly likely that he's going to spend the forthcoming season out of position, which is to both his and Orient's detriment. Someone get the Daggers' Scott Griffiths signed up, even if he is an Oompa Loompa. Luke had a solid game today, making a series of decent tackles and headed clearances. More importantly, he looked like he gave a f***. Whilst he's unlikely to break the Tam/Chorley axis any time soon, it seems we have an emerging player as back up. People seem to assume that, because he came from a Premiership side, he's already the finished article. Not so; he's a youngster learning his trade and there's certainly some solid potential there. All we need is another centre back, and then we'll actually have enough for the season... A recent addition to the Football League, it is perhaps understandable that some hangovers of their long non-league history remain at Dagenham. But changes are afoot! An excellent 2008/2009 campaign and the ongoing construction of a shiny new stand behind one of the goals is heralding a whole new era for Essex's third club.

Pity no-one told their backward stewards who barred Orient fans desperate for a pee from leaving by the most convenient route, instead being ordered to clamber over rows of seats filled with other away fans. It was a ridiculous and dangerous state of affairs, and invoked an impressive amount of ire from Leyton Orient fans at a friendly. I'll cross my fingers that they draw Leeds or Millwall in the FA Cup and see how they cope with a marginally more fractious situation.

One young Orient fan in particular suffered at their hands, first being prevented from popping out of the ground to retreive a mobile phone accidentally left in view of the delightful local populace, and then being served up a hair-filled delicacy at the 'catering outlet', and met with the charming "I you don't like it, don't eat it" by the delightful youg lady behind the counter. Jobsworth non-league barstewards!

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